I can maintain a perfect posture throughout a gruelling day at the office but once i'm home and my butt is snuggled onto that green chair, my body automatically slumps over in a "caveman" hunch.
Oh that hunch.It makes my back hurt oh so much. Turning 20 and working my way to that slipped disc, how nice.This coupled with my old lady's legs (rhuematism), you (yes you blog-reader) would probably find yourself wondering if I happen to have saggy breasts. No I dont you perv!
Sigh, my life is neither here nor there. Working between studies. Studying while working.
I'm registered for the May 7th sat (prayers are most welcome, however curses, voodoo spells, petrify, silence will not work on me as Ive cast dispel on myself) Gosh, gaming terms have crept into my bloggin world.
While I was having my As, I always thought I would plunge happily into the gaming world once the nightmare is over. Now i've received my (disgusting) results, I'm still a ps2-less loser.
"what a depressing post!" cried the blog-reader. Yeah well, try hunching over like a caveman.
As a little girl dressed in a checked pink uniform and armed with a weak bladder, I fondly recall my teacher asking me to draw on a sheet of blank paper, what i want to be when i grow up.
Not giving it a second more to thought, I immediately grabbed the nearby crayons and started drawing my childhood ambition.
When my teacher started reviewing the drawings done by my fellow kindergardeners, I was delighted that my dream wasnt a replica of some other kids. In fact it stood out amougst the doctors,lawyers,policemen and of cuz, the teacher.
I drew a woman with her hands behind her back, wearing a spotless white dress complete with white shoes and socks. She had a odd-shaped white hat on her head. On the hat, i drew a red cross.
The nurse i drew grinned from ear to ear and had a rainbow and birds behind her to match her cheerful disposition.
The teacher gushed at my drawing and my pride and ego swelled. I told myself, this is definately what ill be when i grow up.
Following that, during my secondary 3 and 4 days, i worked at a hospital as part of a student attachment program. The closest ill ever get to being a nurse.
As students, we were assigned to the elderly wards and we worked in pairs under the nurses. Once we stepped into the wards, a wave of sickness and sadness swept through us. Everywhere we looked, our gaze was met by a dejected , lifeless and emotionless face. No matter how hard we smiled, the elders would just look away or ignore us.
The patients each had varying diseases, and this was some i still remember:
1) An elderly woman with a 3cm deep hole, a circumrance of a 20cent coin in her leg. It was so deep i could see the whiteness of her bones. I cringed when the nurse inserted the pinchers with the cotton to clean the wound. The old woman however, looked on emotionlessly.
2) An old lady recently admitted required the nurse to insert a drip through her nose to reach her stomach.(for feeding purposes) The old lady visibly irriated grabbed the long tube and with a great haul, pulled it out of her right nostril. Blood along with mucus splated on her pillow.
3) A young female teenager. Mentally retarded,she was bound to her bed. Her legs and hands were curiously covered in white bandages with small blotches of blood. When asked, the nurse said those wounds were all self-inflicted. Once, she had a violent seziure. I held on to her leg which would not stop kicking. Her eyes were bulging and she bit hard into the cloth tied around her mouth. Slowly and quietly, her strength went and she fell asleep. Now her bed stunk so bad due to her perspiration and her faeces. The nurses drew the curtains around the bed, turned the patient over and started changing her diapers. The smell was overpowering as the nurse opened up the diaper and i noticed above her anus, right about her lower back, there was a big red hollow circle about the size of a milo tin can cover. It was about 1cm deep and it was painful just looking at it. It was a bed sore due to lying too long on the bed.
During those few weeks, I grew to detest and re-think my childhood ambition.
Once, I entered the bathroom with a wheelchair-bound malay elderly lady. The young nurse started un-dressing the lady who was still groggy from sleep. Not knowing what to do, I stared. As i continue my staring, before me the malay lady sat on the toilet bowl in her sagging nakeness. Her breasts hung all the way till they were resting on her thighs. The young nurse lifted one of her breasts and started scrubbing underneath. I must have let a grasp, cause the nurse turned around and noted my presence.
She said, " Here, hold this for a while."
I couldnt believe my ears. Did she mean the breast in her right hand or the showerhead in her left? Being the pessimist that I am, my shakey hand started for the long and seemingly lifeless breast. That moment, the nurse laughed and indicated that i was to hold the showerhead for her.
Indeed, being a nurse certainly requires an individual whose personality resembles the rainbow.
Bright, colourful and gives hope to whoever sees it.
For ten straight years, me and my mates at plmgps and plmgss were deprived of long hair. Hair must be above the collar and hair must cover the ears were the golden rules we had to abide to. PL girls go with short hair like how cj girls goes with short shirts. We were of probably the only school whose discipline mistress moonlighted as a hairdresser during morning assemblies.
I did dream of having flowing, Rapunzel-like tresses but as i was going for a sleek funky look in secondary four i vowed to my classmates never would i wear contacts nor have long hair.
Look at me now. I live on disposable contacts and am the proud owner of long, limp straight lifeless hair.
worry 1: my dad's bald! Well, semi-bald to be exact. Save for the hairs on the side, he as bald as bald can be. Here's where i start to worry.
Due to the biological law, there will be the genetic transmission of certain unwanted characteristics from parent to the very unwilling offspring. I bet by the time im 30, ill be on the vip list of yun nan hair rebuilding centre.
worry 2: Hair is already dropping at alarming rates and im not even in my twenties. On my pillow, on the bathroom sink and floor, on every nook and corner of my room...its everywhere. I reckon if i were to collect every strand ive dropped, it could be rolled into balls and balls of hair which in turn could be knitted in to sweaters, very hairy sweaters.
well well. Life cant just be about worries can it?
Many many many thanks to *joel* who has helped me in more ways he'll ever know.
Lifting my spirits, sharing my burdens, tolerating my madness (mad freaks?!) and stood by me (and still standing beside me) through the dark ages of my student life.
So hamsum and macho
So huggable and cuddlable
So mature and reliable when needs be
So silly and cute as a button X)
Reckon this the 1st time im injecting a mild dosage of relationship mushy-ness in my blog.
hawhaw.
Bare with it my readers, cuz im in love : )
"Bloody asshole! Duno how to drive, izzit?" *starts honking*
"Will you take a look at that bugger? Switching lanes like a drunk monkey." *virgous hand movement pointing to the drunk car infront*
"So slow.... must be a lady driver." *irriated look plus virgous hand movement, particularly the middle finger, when driver finally passes the slow car*
Words uttered by the seasoned driver, harden by years of travelling on the merciless streets of Singapore where patience seems to no longer exist. (okay,okay. Sg isnt tt bad. But with an increasing population of angry drivers, who is to say?)
However, this "seasoned" driver got his license no more than a mth ago. Sitting beside him and hearing him speak in angry-driver-language made me wonder whether he was born with a silver spoon steering wheel in his mouth hands.
I kept stealing glances at him while he drove and occasionally i broke out in fits of laughter. What made me act like ten retarded chimpazees again?
well, I just couldnt believe that the guy who has difficulty transporting himself from place to place on his two feet( trips over nothing while walking on the flatest pavement) is now transporting me home in a four-wheel vehicle.
As he drove past a police car, i half expected sirens to go off and the police after him for being underaged. After a highspeed chase and social skills on my part, he was let off on the account that he "drove to impress girlfriend"
My jo. The one who played "mary had a little lamb" over the phone for me. The one who picked cute little seashells for me. The one who daydreamed in his Amaths class about me(or so u told me). The one who wrote me letters with cartoon drawings of his lastest hairstyle. The one who said he wanted to grow up into adulthood as lovers with me.
And as i look at him pull away in his car, I wondered is jo growing up?
Licensed to grow up, we take our first step into adulthood.
afterword:
The above 3 quotes of angry seasoned driver was taken from my dad. Much to everyone's disappointment disbelief, Jo was not the one responsible for such irresponsible, bias and angry words. It was my dad.
Yesterday, on my way to the mrt. I was approached by a monk. The cynical side of me took over as i recalled all the articles of psuedo monks asking for alms in hawker centres. Was this monk one of them? preying on young naive girls like, ahem... moi?
This monk whipped out a golden shiny card. For a moment i thought it was a credit card and that he was going to ask for assitance to withdraw his lifesaving from his account to travel to the mountains of china to lead a life devoid of material wants or needs.
Turns out that golden card had an imprint of Buddha on it. The monk pushed the card to my hand and kept repeating "bao you ni chu lu ping an" Very loosely translated means...er..may your outing be safe(?) Hm,..somewhere along those lines. Outing refers to your departure from this earth.
With lightning quick reflexes which confirmed my suspicions that he received shaolin martial arts trainings, the monk whipped out a black executive-like file. With a diplomatic smile on his face, he asked for my signature.
Realizing that perhaps that was the file that contained the names of those he saved, i immediately started shaking my head and repeating "bu yao,bu yao"(means dun want,dun want) and fled down the escalator.
I duno what made me act like a girl with the combined IQ of ten retarded chimapzees. Pehaps it was the signature thing, making everything so official. Like once i die i'll be refered to the Buddhist office of afterlife under the department "Saved at the mrt"
Made it safely to PS to meet jo and watched "Running on karma". For those ignorant ones, its the movie which features Andy Lau in a larger-than-life muscle suit. And yes, its about monks.
Without a doubt the movie would leave you with many un-answered questions and set your pondering not only on life and its relation to karma but also how amazing it is for directors to squeeze in so many genres into a single movie. Comedy?Romance?horror? its got it all. Prefect for those budget movie goers. 3-in-1 movie! Making it a B-grade movie no less.
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I duno when did it start.
But somewhere somehow when i wasnt paying attention, my attitude took an extreme makeover...hm,make tt extreme runover.
Previously my attitude was like a basket full of rotten apples,now its like TWO baskets of rotten apples.
My life got cold
It happened many years ago
When summer slipped away
So chill now oh
We've got many years to go
So take it day by day
When did i stop caring? When did i become so bo-chap?
Rina commented that i had violent mood swings.
Joel remarked that ive changed.
The monk probably saw my bad karma and my impending doom and had to preach to me.
hmmm, thinking about it I was probably a retarded chimpazee feeding on a basket of rotten apples in my past life.
