warning to reader!! the content of the following blog will be a documentation of events that happened over the past few days of kat's life*yawn*.basically,itz full of crap(and full of spelling errors) but if you do actually read..it might be pretty informative or entertaining ha!
read at ur own risk.well...u've been warned...
doc1 nov 27 wed
this is one of the rare days of the holidays that i got up early..like real early.9am to be precise.and for what?for chris.she asked me to go cjc fer sum hockey thing.Me being adventurous and ever so ready to try new n exciting things,agreed.and so there i was,getting ready..sacrifcing my sleep and forgo-ing one of my slackerised days...(or so i thot)
just before i left,i received a urgent sms frm chris.to call her asap.guesss what?she's still in bed....argh.so there goes the hockey plan.we decided to meet fer some serious job hunting.ok so fastforward to ltr part of the day....
me and chris @ borders.while flipping thru random bks, i had to waste precious minutes on my hp to convince yummy to come down to join us.and aft sum very-hard-to-say-no-to persuasion on my part,she succumbed.ha! i mean like how cld she resist..heh.anyways me n chris were looking at sum tattoo mag.pretty nice..me might get one muahaha...on me lower back or ankle.sum teeeny weeeny tiny one.maybe the size of a one-cent coin?haha..so,back to borders.we headed over to the women's magazine corner got some mags-cleo,seventeen,elle,teenpeople,blahblah and scurried over to some cozy corner under the parenting section.so we plonked on the carpeted floor and started digesting our juicy reads...so engrossed we were that we din notice someone approaching us...slowly this huge shadow came over me and i slowly looked up...there he was a big malay sercuity guard staring down on us.and with his booming voice he ordered that we get the hell outta there.ok i admit i exaggerated...but apparently u cant just plonk urself on the floor,you have to have ur butt seated on the benches they have there to read.bah! it was not like we were disturbing anyone or obstructing any parenting enuthsiast..
hmmm..fastforward somemore----me chris and yummy @ nydc cafe.hm,not much to say.'cept never sit on the inside when on the same row there is some guy with an itchy butt..the whole seat was shaking according to his very rigorous butt movements,much to the displeasure of me n chris,esp since we fought to get seated on the inside...
fastword even more---me and yummy in the 8beam neoprint machine at bishan j8..chris was outside changing the note fer coins...there we were fooling ard with the moveable camera lens thingy...when suddenly....
kat: OOPSSY!
yummy: what?!?
kat: i dropped the coin into the camera lens thingy...
yummy: ...
after much waiting and flidding of the mechanics on the machine...we managed to get the neoprint taken.however chris left earlier...to meet her mama..After taking a look at the neoprint i took with yummy,i can see why chris labelled me "not a neoprint" person...but then again...im not a photo person either :__(
ok end of wed.
doc 2 nov 28 thurs
meet up with chris n her younger sis.we went down to raffles city cafe cartel for an interview.damn! did u noe how many pple turned up?loads...i was number 34.and i turned up quite early too.hmm.was surprised that chris's sis wld wanna work.she's only sec3.so career-minded eh?when i sec 3 all i cld think abt was slack?play me ps...oh i spent lots of time thinking abt joel haha *blush* ok,before i cause anyone to gag out their lunch/dinner/wadever..
here it is...the mother of all questions...the beginning of the end..the never ending story...the...what the hell am i saying?!?!
i meant to ask....
WHAT IS LOVE?
Are your palms sweaty, is your heart racing and is your voice caught within your chest??
It isn't love, it's LIKE.
You can't keep your eyes or hands off of her, am I right??
It isn't love, it's LUST.
Are you proud, and eager to show her off??
It isn't love, it's LUCK.
Do you want her because you know she's there??
It isn't love, it's LONELINESS.
Are you with her because it's what everyone wants??
It isn't love, it'S LOYALTY.
Are you with her because she kissed you, or held your hand?
It isn't love, it's LOW CONFIDENCE.
Do you stay for her confessions of love, because you don't want to hurt her?
It isn't love, it's PITY.
Do you belong to her because the sight of her makes your heart skip a beat??
It isn't love, it's INFATUATION.
Do you pardon her faults because you care about her?
It isn't love, it's FRIENDSHIP.
Do you tell her every day she is the only one you think of?
It isn't love, it's a LIE.
Are you willing to give up all of your favorite things for her sake?
It isn't love, it's CHARITY.
Does your heart ache and break when she's sad?
Then it's LOVE.
Do you cry for her pain, even when she's strong?
Then it's LOVE.
Do her eyes see your true heart, and touch your soul so deeply it hurts?
Then it's LOVE.
Do you stay because a blinding, incomprehensible mix of pain and relation pulls you close and holds you to her?
Then it's LOVE.
Do you accept her faults because it's a part of who she is?
Then it's LOVE.
Are you attracted to others, but stay with her faithfully without regret??
Then it's LOVE.
Would you give her your heart, your life, your death??
Then it's LOVE.
Now, if love is painful, and tortures us so, why do we love?
Why is it all we search for in life? This pain, this agony?
Why is it all we long for? This torture, this powerful death of self? Why?
The answer is so simple cause it's...LOVE.
It is such an addictive thing that even people who are not having it wish to experience it and share it with others as well.
its gonna be hard...without the support of my mum....without the support of my friends...without the support of jo...
no matter what they say...i have to do it. however words can bring me down....
this year...has been...hard. many times i wished it was a bad dream...one that i cld wake up from and make all the right decisions...
JAN-FEB was spent @ srjc...i must admit it was fun.my classmates were a different bunch of people...first time i experienced sch life outside of PL...the volleyball sessions.the stupid dance audition..ooh! and that horrible tennis trial..i mean, what was i thinking?...ha,actually im glad i went thru all that.
MARCH...i was alrdy pon-ing sch.ha! such stupid girl i was(or still am?)...when you're in a jc for the 1st 3mths...you tend to pick out all the faults..and proclaim that xxxxJC sucks and that you are definately not gonna stay(unless of course you're in the top 5 jcs...)anyway there i was...poning sch like no body's business..up to a point where my CT had to call me up. decided to officially quit sch to stop her from bugging me over the phone.end of march..got the dreadful results..16..hmph..i was aiming for a 12 or better.where on earth can a 16 bring me? cj of cuz..sr was out the question..how cld i go back there?
APRIL-MAY was spent trying to adjust to reality.2mths to adjust?yes it was that hard.
friend:"so kat,howz cj?"
me:"ok loh."
friend:"ur class?"
me:"ok loh."
friend:"how many guys?"
me:*stick out my fingers and toes,and start to count*"hm,abt 16"
friend:"wa! den how many girls?"
me:"let's see..if i add myself..it comes up to a grand total of 3 girls in my class"
friend:"...."
what theeeeeee???? so little za borrrrrr in my classssss? i will dieeee...what abt girl-bonding?what abt emergency pad needs?what abt honing my group hearding instinct of mass toilet migration?
actually it was getting better...not great fun but can survive.....barely heh.
JUNE i realised i wanted out.out of cj...into the wonderful world of poly.next to jc...poly seemed to be perfect.freedom..no one to bug you.no one to scold u.no one naggin at you...its you on your own..
the idea of the forbidden fruit can be protrayed in many situations....
for example yesterday...i had a taste of that....i was caught between two choices....and these choices concern my future...thus it took up alot of my time...time wasted pondering on it...time wasted on bugging friends and family with it...once my mind was idle (and that is probably 90% of my waking life) thoughts would naturally drift to it...my imagination generated vivid images of how it wld be like like if i chose one over the other...but no matter how powerful my imagination is...it cld never tell me which is the better choice...it aint that easy anymore...previously everything was decided by my parents...and if things turn out wrong...i cld still blame them (i admit ttz a childish act...but who hasnt done that?) now...it in my hands....make the choice...suffer/enjoy the consequences...anyways...i was tokking abt the forbidden fruit...@ 1st i had the choice over 2 destinies...i was hesistant...VERY hesistant...but as time passes the right choice seems clearer and clearer....but it was too late...i wanted it....but it closed up on me...
imagine this...you are on a mrt platform....there are two trains..one on each side of the platform...u stand there...alone...reluctant to move at all...but u know you have to make a choice...the trains will take you to different destinations...on the train you will meet and make friends wift different pple...you stand there...confused lost...you cry out for help...ard you...you can hear echos of familar voices chanting " it's your choice.....it's in your hands...you have to chooseeeee...."
you shut your eyes...place your hands over your ears as you try to hear the little voice inside you....calling out to you..telling you the RIGHT choice...as you struggle to make out what it was saying...a loud sound burst thru your concentration "TTUTUTUTUUTUT"....shit!!! the doors are closing!!!!!! u feel like you are thrown into a frenzy as you run from train door to door...you cant help but hesistate...cuz you noe in ur heart you havent decided yet...suddenly you hear a voice..."just say it....say u'll stay....just stay...stayyyyyyyy".....in the midst of the chaos...your brain willingly accepts the foriegn voice...accepts it idea...and you decided to stay....right that moment ....time freezes....the dooors of both trains close halfway...everything seemed to have stopped...everything except ur mind.....................you start to think.......you begin to realise........but is it too late? you dun want to stay....the old train hold too many painful memories....you want to start anew...although you might be alone...laughed at..discriminated....but you have no choice...........you run to the othe train...you stretch out your hand.....and the dooor just closes right in front of you.........you scream.....but no sound comes out
........you are too late...
right now....before the new school year begins..i still have a chance...i have a choice....to persist or not...well...im gonna try...i have to shut out what others say...cuz this is my future...not theirs.....
there is this new persona in the music scene ...it is the punky rocker chick persona...maybe it has always been part of the music scene but now it has a face...a pretty face in fact...who else but---see above...everybody adores her :) haa...for a variety of reasons...one her attitude...rebel! rebel! go against whatever u can go against...haa......second her songs...catchy...nice..er..ttz abt it...third her look...a fresh new look..tie and all..her gone are the days of pop princess with the sch girl outfit...fourth...her hairrr...gosh..makes every girl sooo jealous ha..
when did i 1st hear abt her...hm...i think it was the radio..power98?...rem identifying with the lyrics..complicated..ha..
"I like you the way you are~When we're drivin in your car~And you're talkin to me one-on-one~But you become~Somebody else~ Round everyone else~Watchin your back~Like you can't relax~You tryin to be cool~You look like a fool to me"
...yep..was listening out for the name of the artist..and heard the dj struggle with her name.."aaavvvreeeel LAveeen"...i was like ok...initially i thot she wld be like the michelle branch type...after i saw her complicated mtv...i thot i was cool...mean like crashing the mall..ha ttz fun...nobody does that in spore..*sobz*...and by the time youngsters start the crashing the mall...ill be the age where i have to conform to society's rules...boo..hmm..but her 2nd video..kinda boring if u ask me...same theme as papa roach's mtv...was hoping she actually shot the video in a way that really protrays a cute skater boy and a stuck-up bitch ha...
anyway...y am i talking abt her? hmm....due to the significant increase of young girls worshipping her...following her...abit too closely...argh..me thinks when avril grows older she'll be like countney love haa..
ooh..guys like avril too...not for her songs...haa ,right jo?
i tell you its the hairrrrrrrrrr
ok...this post is up due to popular demand (kat's such a liar. no one reads this blog unless they are forced to by you)
In the past few days...the time i spent at home is dedicated in to playing my playstation...(no life eh?)...and as time goes by..there is this specific part of my body that increases slowly steady and worse....sliently......(no,its not my b*****ts...unfortunately. free implants! woho!) itz me tummy...
tummytummy.....hey rem the commercial on channel 5 eons ago?abt a reducing ur tummy by drinking sum kind of health drink? i think it was called tummy no more...haa..i think i need one of those now....
arghhhhhh....this has not been my day! figured out how to add comments BUT why is it next to the freaking date? it looks damn ugly...?shldnt it be at the bottom of the post? who the hell puts it put there??????
itz amazing how I can do it time and time again...even when I tell myself not to....somethings are just out of my control...
Each time...immediately after I have done the un-changable...said the words that are un-take-a-backle...(aka words that cant be taken back)...I REGRET...and I feel horrible...this heavy weight in my heart and this powerful headache in my head...
"Save me O God, for the waters have come up to my neck.
I sink in the miry depths, where there is no foothold.
I have come into deep waters; the floods engulf me.
I am worn out calling for help; my throat is parched."
What's the best aspect of the Taurus-Sagittarius relationship? The new perspectives they can give each other once each partner becomes familiar with their distinctive philosophies. Theirs is a stable and happy relationship once they understand and accept these differences.
wellwell..i know very well i shldnt be here...oh well...anyway juz watched this thriller?on tv...based on the novel OUTBREAK by robin cook...the title alone reminds u of that movie with little cute monkey that turned on itz owner n bit him and started a series of..well,outbreaks...and the map of the usa showing tiny red dots here and there and in a matter of nano-seconds it fills up...blosoming into a huge blop og crimsion red.....nup no that movie...another one...but it was real interesting...had those screens when u actually hold ya breath and tense ya whole body.....
----damn, im so freaking bored~
well hope jo has a freaking gd time at the camp....and i hope i have a freaking gd time freezing in sch hall..trying to put my numb fingers to work....im so gona do badly for this ppr,..........................
*tmr is the last day i can change my mind abt going yj.....aft tmr...it BYEBYE catholic junior college...hallooooo yishunnnnnn*
just had to put this in here...maybe for future reference?
10 steps to enjoying each other better
1. Be realistic about each other.
Don't try to turn ur partner into something he or she is not. Let's face it, guys-there's only 1 Pamela Anderson in the world, and even she has had her implants removed! Give ur gal a break and understand that her physical appearance is NOT going to change overnite with the help of a few facials or treatments. And ladies, Brad Pitt has already been taken, so
u're gonna have to do with what ur guy is like! Chill out, love each other for what u are. There is more to ur partner than what meets the eye.
2. Always talk things out.
Now guys, I know this is not ur fave pastime or mode of resolving issues, but u know what? This works with the gals. Don't make assumptions about each other's feelings. Learn to xpress urself better so that ur partner understands what u're angry about, or hurt about, or even happy about! When u stop talking to each other from the heart, it's the beginning of the end.
3. Do stuff together.
Make an effort to do things together. Do some sports or involve
urselves in some shared activities; something both of u enjoy or are interested in. It could be as simple as watching movies together, or jus strolling hand-in-hand down Orchard Road. Watch soccor with him once in a while though the green patch on TV puts u to sleep in 3 seconds. And guys, do give in if ur gal asks for another day at window-shopping, rather than suggest that she go out with her girlfriends for "that sort of activities" instead. If u're spending more time with ur friends rather than with ur partner, it's a warning sign that u're drifting apart!!!
4. Meet each other halfway.
If he agrees to throw out that rotten T-shirt with the "The_Rock" print, u shouldn't kick up much of a fuss if he asks u to keep ur room tidy. There's gotta be a little giving and taking in a relationship, so learn to meet each other halfway.
5.Show ur love
Buy her flowers or candy or perfume everynow and then, even if u have been together for 5years. It's wonderful to continue showing someone that u care for him or her. Cook him a special meal, paint him a Valentine's Day card. Knit him mini-socks he can't wear ( like for decoration purposes =>), buy him a packet of milk for breakfast, or pack his wardrobe for him...so he knows u can still be romantic and loving despite having been
together for quite a while.
6. Respect each other.
Sop making jokes about her hair or skin, or whatever it is u love to laugh at. Ask urself if she thinks if its funny. And if he has an inferiority complex about his height, stop ogling at tall guys and make him feel worse! Love is about respecting each other's feelings and being sensitive to each other at all times.
7. Bury the past.
Stop bringing up the past. Gals..don't bring up the happy things about u and ur ex to ur guy, it would jus make him jealous or unhappy. And guys, don't talk about the happy times that u had with ur ex or mention about her in ur every other sentence as it would make ur gal feel un-happy and she might think that u saying all this b'cos u are gonna get back with ur ex or not interested in her anymore.
8. Sit on ur jealousy.
All of us go thru' spells of insecurity at the beginning of the
relationship, but don't translate that insecurity into jealousy. If u're gonna go through ur partner's mail and cupboard, and eavesdropping on conversations, u know something is wrong - with u!!! Jealousy is like a poison that slowly spreads thru' the relationship before finally killing it. Trust ur partner; love has to have trust in it.
9. Keep ur commitments to each other.
If ur partner is standing u up all the time and cancelling dates and breaking promises, u need to talk! If u're in a relationship, make ur partner ur priority and don't disappoint them if u can help it. It's really terrible when someone promises to take u to dinner, and then calls to cancel it. Don't make promises u can't keep. If ur partner starts to feel
that he/she is not important enough to u, u may jus lose him/her.
10. Be honest.
Honesty is not scowling at how awful she looks first thing in the morning, or telling him that he has the biceps of a fly~! When we say "be honest", we mean expressing ur feelings clearly, not being bitingly cruel. When u're hurt, say so, and when u're angry, tell him/her, w/o getting hysterical. If u can't be honest with ur partner, who can u be honest with?
Love is also about honesty, and a relationship where no honesty exists probably isn't worth it!
five days to chinese ppr..so not ready for it....i wanna try and get a B3...i know in order to get a B3 or even come close to it i must study...put in my best...late nights...blahblah...but late nights with chinese??!!?!
Over the past few days...I have made a VERY important decision...everybody...im going to YJ...*GASP!* yessss...u heard me right...yj it is...when i get there...by hook or by crook (never understood tt expression) i must get into the council...and ill join some other cca..im thinking sports...odac?touch rugby?tennis?...but the hardest thing to do...wld be to don on the pl uniform yet again...
there wld be alot of things i have to go thru and face next year...but ill have to stick to my decision....
