You know how sometimes you're so damn excited about something you accidently chuck your precious toe under the door? yes? no? well that happened to me.....
I was in my sister's room, doing my normal thing(bugging her with my horrendously loud burps *as u can see,im obviously suffering from the rina syndrome.* and my off-key singing, dramatised actions and highly irritating giggles) when suddenly i heard the phone ringing! yes! joel's calling me! must get to phone NOW! i leapt to the door with super human speed and swung it open with super human strength and right there and then got my middle toe of my right foot stuck under the door with super human stupidity.
ouch.
now my precious toe has a a purple shade. pretty cool eh? was wondering why it didnt bleed.
You how sometimes you watch a nature documentary and end up getting grossed our by how the tiger rips the throat of the deer exposing the raw blood red meat underneath and all these while the deer is still kicking (or maybe the tiger just bit into some nerves that makes the deer kick?) and it seems as though its face is expressioness. no pain? perhaps God made it so that we humans who watch it wouldnt feel like we're watching re-runs of violent, gory teen-slasher movies.
But honestly, even without the expression of pain and the cry for help...i was still pretty devastated at a documentary i watched earlier. The predator wasn't a tiger with rasor sharp teeth or a snake with it menacing beady black eyes but a cute furry black monkey with white fur around its cute small face. While the camera man was spying on the monkey, it was spying on a racoon-like animal mother leaving its babies to get food. And this agile monkey leapt to the nest and grabbed one of the babies and leapt off to the adjacent tree. The mother spotted the predator and tried to reach it despite the fact that she couldn't climb trees. Such a tragedy. And as the camera zoomed in on the monkey licking its blood-stained fingers after finishing his meal, I couldn't help but think of some random KFC advertisment "ummmmm...finger-licking goood"...
Biblical masculinity is neither passive nor rudely aggressive. God calls us to be servant initiators---firm, but gentle; masculine, yet caring; leaders, yet servants.
Four practical ways you can do these things in your relationships with women.
1. Assume the responsibility of leading and initiating in your relationships with women.
Leading is a form of serving. When you provide direction, suggest ideas, and initiate conversation or activities, you're serving your sisters.
One woman told me what a burden it is when her male friends sit around waiting for women to plan everything. "I don't like it when a man sits there asking, 'So what do you want to do?'" she said, "I want them to make a decision!"
The same principle applies in your courtship (or friendships). Do you initiate conversations? Do you carefully plan your dates? Are you thinking ahead and directing the course of the courtship? It's your job to make sure that it's continuing to grow at a healthy rate. It's your responsibility to make sure you're both guarding your hearts.
As you can see, servant leadership requires work. It means sacrifice. It means going out on a limb and proposing ideas, setting direction, and inviting others to follow. It means listening, taking others' interests and needs into account, and adjusting as neccessary. It means deferring to others at times. Leadership isn't tyranny; it's service rendered. It's difficult, but it's a big part of what it means a man.
2. Be a spiritual leader in your relationships with women.
Men, we should set the spiritual pace in our relationships with women.
We should be the ones to make sure our relationships aren't merely, superficial and entertainment oriented, but deep, God focused, and characterized by biblical fellowship.
My friend Joseph sets a terrific example in this area. When he's with a group of friends, at some point in the conversation he'll ask a question like "So what did you think of the sermon on Sunday?" or "Can I share something God is showing me?" or "What's the area God is helping you to grow in?"
Do you know what is Joseph doing? He's initiating biblical fellowship. He's asking questions that help him and his friends share the new life they have because of Jesus. He's leading them in talking about reality of God in their lives.
Joseph isn't a spiritual show-off. That should never be our motive. His goal is to serve his friends and enrich his own life. He knows how easy it is to let a whole night go by without having a serious a serious, God-focus conversation. He knows that in fellowships he and his friends are truly growing closer.
3. Do Little Things In Your Relationships With Women That Communicate.
Your Care, Respect, and Desire to protect.
This doesn't have to be complicated. Simply be a gentleman to the women in your life. Your goal is to show through your actions that their status as a woman is a noble one.
Let them feel your concern and respect in as many ways as you possibly can. You can do this through small actions: open the door for them, pull out their chair, escort them to their car (or house) at the end of the night. If you need more guidance, ask a few Christian women for pointers. You'll be amazed how willing they'll help educate you!
In your courtship, remember that you're not doing these things merely to impress or to win a woman's heart. You are doing these things for God's glory. You do them to serve a sister in Christ and honor her as a woman.
4. Encourage Women to Embrace Godly Femininity.
Look for ways to encourage your sisters in godly femininity. When they make room for you to practice leadership, thank them. When they're humble and gentle, encourage them. Femininity is not weakness. It requires great strength of character for a women to be gentle in an age that screams for her to do otherwise.
When you see woman going against the grain of culture by culivating a skill that will serve her family someday, compliment her. When a girl is pursuing a demanding career, but it is still being feminine, let her know you notice. Let her know you respect her.
Men should be the biggest encouragers and prayer warriors for women who are seeking to glorify God by practicing godly femininity.
